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another conversation [Jun. 29th, 2005|11:28 pm]
gawf phunk
The Sean Said: <3
SoCoDrone: hey. I was just about to say hello
The Sean Said: hi
SoCoDrone: how are you?
The Sean Said: I'm sweet
The Sean Said: you?
SoCoDrone: so so
The Sean Said: :-\
SoCoDrone: I went on a paddle boat today with Catherine & got burnt. That was the best part about my day
The Sean Said: aw
SoCoDrone: we picked up trash from the lake along the way
SoCoDrone: we went to far and had trouble getting back, it was hilarious
The Sean Said: lol
SoCoDrone: unfortunatly, we weren't able to rent this giant swan paddle boat b/c it was too expensive or else we would have been crusin' in style
The Sean Said: lol
SoCoDrone: I think I must of laughed the entire time we were on the lake
The Sean Said: sounds like you had fun though
SoCoDrone: for no reason at all
SoCoDrone: I did
SoCoDrone: but Catherine has no energy and didn't feel like doing much else when we were done
SoCoDrone: so how was your day?
The Sean Said: boring
The Sean Said: didn't do anything
The Sean Said: played video games
SoCoDrone: Are you doing anything special for your birthday?
The Sean Said: not that I know of
SoCoDrone: yours is going to fall on a friday like mine. Just promise me your not going to go to bed at 9:30 like my lame ass.
The Sean Said: I probably will
The Sean Said: :-\
SoCoDrone: I don't believe you.
SoCoDrone: at all.
SoCoDrone: :-)
The Sean Said: :-)
SoCoDrone: so you made me start thinking about school again.
The Sean Said: uh oh
SoCoDrone: With all that has been going on at home, it's been easy for me brush it off
SoCoDrone: and I know I shouldn't
The Sean Said: no you shouldn't
The Sean Said: but at the same time
The Sean Said: you shouldn't worry about it
SoCoDrone: Sometimes when I get my heart set on something, I tend to think it should be my way or nothing at all. Which is stupid b/c I'm only hurting myself.
The Sean Said: you have plenty of time to go to school
SoCoDrone: yes, but that's not how I feel about it
SoCoDrone: if I really think about it, I'm not going here, b/c I'm scared. I'm scared of the areas that I don't do well in that I have to face. I like to be the best at everything & if I think that I'm not going to do well no matter how hard I try then I don't want to have anything to do with it.
The Sean Said: thats just part of life
SoCoDrone: It's weird b/c I don't want anyone to know that I'm weak at something and if no one is looking then it's not worth doing
The Sean Said: :-\
SoCoDrone: I'm just undecided about a lot of things
SoCoDrone: every point with me is equal so it's difficult for me to choose
The Sean Said: :-(
The Sean Said: well
The Sean Said: once I get things going in the AF
The Sean Said: we'll see what we can do to support eachother
SoCoDrone: I feel horrible about telling you all this. I don't want to upset you or anything. And i don't want you to think that I live in constant dispair. I do have my moods, and there is a lot more that I think about that I wish I felt more comfortable telling you.
The Sean Said: no no
The Sean Said: you need someone to be there for you
The Sean Said: someone that support you and what you want to do
SoCoDrone: I should tell you, no your wrong. Only b/c I want to protect myself from being hurt. It is difficult for me to be anything but true with whomever I meet. Over the past year, some ppl have taken advantage of that. I'm scared to tell anyone anything anymore. But yes, it's difficult for me to admit to it, your right with the above statement. Your not suppose to know that about me though.
The Sean Said: well unfortunately for you
The Sean Said: I'm really good at figuring people out
SoCoDrone: you know, I'd like to think that I'm very strong in a lot of things, but there are other areas where I do want that "support". It just seems to me that everyone that I've turned to makes me feel inferior b/c of it
SoCoDrone: so I just don't say anything
The Sean Said: thats silly
The Sean Said: and I've always been there to support you and your feelings
The Sean Said: well
The Sean Said: maybe not so much lately
The Sean Said: but when you needed me
SoCoDrone: yes you have. But with you, I don't know what to expect so I have no expectations so that I won't be disappointed. Which kind of makes me sad, b/c that type of "I don't care" attitude doesn't really fit me. But my experinces over the last year have reminded me like a thorn in my side to adapt to that mentality.
The Sean Said: I can understand that
The Sean Said: but you'll get to a point where that goes away
The Sean Said: hey I'll brb
The Sean Said signed off at 11:15:36 PM.
The Sean Said signed on at 11:26:39 PM.
The Sean Said: <3
SoCoDrone: <3
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